So - the cruise was fun, and as you can see, it provided us with lots of photo opportunities. I can imagine that it would be wonderful in the summer, so if you ever find yourself in London in the summertime, I seriously suggest that you consider taking a cruise. But we had other things to do this day, and do get to them, we'd have to take the Tube yet again. Which brings me to my next little rant...

Take a look at a Tube map. Seriously. Do it now; I'll wait. The map is available all over the Internet, but just to make it easy for you I've tracked down the "official" map from Transport for London, which you can view by clicking here.

Are you there yet? OK, good. You'll notice that there are several lines, each of which has it's own color. The red line in the center of the map is called the "Central Line". Take a look at it now, especially the parts of the line in the center of the map. Notice that there are two types of stations on the Central Line: stations marked with a small line (like the Lancaster Gate station) and stations marked with some kind of circle (like the Bond Street or Oxford Circus stations). The reason for the two different markings is that the "small line" stations connect to no other rail service, while the "circle stations" do - be it another Tube line or a National Rail line. So if you're on the Central Line and want to get on the Piccadilly Line (the dark blue line), you'd have to go to Holborn station and change there. You see how that works?

A station can sometimes connect to multiple lines, too. Let your eye follow the Piccadilly Line from Holborn to King's Cross\St. Pancras. Although the Piccadilly Line doesn't stop at King's Cross, if you look closely you'll see that the Victoria (light blue), Northern (black), Hammersmith and City (pink), District (yellow) and Bakerloo (brown) lines do stop at King's Cross.

But what the Tube map doesn't tell you is that it sometimes lies. Look for the Tower Hill station, which is located on the District and Circle (yellow and green) lines and is located near the river Thames (look for the little boat next to it indicating a pier). If you look at the first stop to the west of Tower Hill (Monument), it looks at first glance as if you can catch a Northern Line train there. Well, you can't. What you get instead is an Underground tunnel that leads you from the Monument station to the Bank station, which is a walk of something like 75 miles. Or at least it feels like 75 miles. I won't make the mistake of doing that again - it surely must be shorter (or at least more scenic) to walk the streets from Tower Hill to Bank station. And at least you won't see signs like these on the street:

Do not urinate in this area! Big Brother watching you!

This sign is hard to read now that it's been reduced, but it basically says "Dear Santa - I have been a good boy this year. All I want this Christmas is for Daddy to stop hitting me and for Mummy to stop crying all the time...", which of course made the guy homeless.

After walking the 75 miles from Monument to Bank station, we settled in for a trip under the Thames to London Bridge station. We were headed to the South Bank to see something Lisa had been drooling over for months: The Clink Prison Museum! Astute readers might notice that the London Bridge station is the same station Lisa and I used to get to Borough Market, and indeed we had to walk right past it to get to the Clink, so I was able to snap a shot of it during the day (left).

Let me ask you something - what is a museum? Is it a place where artifacts are kept for public viewing? Or is it just a place for learning? What if a "museum" didn't have any artifacts at all and wasn't located in a historic building? Would you still consider it a museum?

That's the question I had as we approached the Clink Museum. The museum has few (if any) genuine artifacts. The building it represents was burnt down a few centuries ago. In fact, this "museum" basically just has a few wax figures of people being tortured and lot of cards to read on the wall. But was it fun? It sure was! 

I mentioned that The Clink was not located in any type of historic building. This is, in fact, true. The museum is located in a warehouse apparently built sometime in the 1920s. But just down the street, one can look up and see vestiges of the old Winchester Palace, of which the Clink prison was indeed part:

I found the cathedral to be pretty fascinating. Built between 1220 and 1420, it has a chapel named after one of it's most famous parishioners: John Harvard, who would go on to create a rather famous university in Cambridge, Massachusetts in 1636. The south window is dedicated to William Shakespeare, whose original Globe Theatre was nearby. Said window has several quotes and images from the Bard's plays in it, and is a whimsy to see. Also of interest is the tomb of John Gower, a friend of Chaucer's who died in 1408 and is considered by many to be the "first English poet". Also quote moving is the wooden effigy of a knight (dated to around 1280) as well as the tomb of Lancelot Andrewes, who was not only a well-known scholar and preacher, but was also the last occupant of Winchester Palace, the remains of which can be seen a few photos above. All in all, Southwark Cathedral was both moving and amusing, plus I liked that it's rather small for a cathedral church. Going through the entire cathedral took only around a half-hour, yet I felt as if I saw just about everything there was to see - unlike Westminster Abbey, which I could visit every day for a week and still see something new.

By now the missus and I were running out of gas. We weren't exhausted, but we knew that a nap was called for if we were gonna hang with the party crowd this New Year's Eve. So we headed back towards the Hilton, stopping once again at the Marks and Spencer.

It was at M&S when I picked up a newspaper that the fullness of of something I had already known really hit me: the copy of The Sun newspaper in my hand was just about the only item Marks and Spencer sells that isn't branded as a Marks and Spencer product. You have to understand - Marks and Spencer started out as a department store. And just like Sears used to do in America, every stitch of clothing M&S sells has their name on the label. Want "Fruit of The Loom" brand briefs? Sorry, they only carry M&S brand briefs. Want an Arrow shirt or Dockers slacks? Sorry, they only carry M&S brand shirts and slacks.

Which is all well and good, but when the M&S brand gets carried over to food products - a fairly recent invention, by the way - things just get a little... creepy. In addition to the newspaper I also picked up a Marks and Spencer sandwich and Marks and Spencer crisps as well as some Marks and Spencer cheese for a snack. I bought some Marks and Spencer beer for the evening's festivities, while Lisa opted for Marks and Spencer vodka. I even bought my friend Kim back home a can of Marks and Spencer Gin and Tonic (which came in a can like Red Bull) as the colors and packaging reminded me of her. I was even tempted by all the Marks and Spencer brand candies there at the checkout station, but was able to resist the Marks and Spencer Beef Bolognese sauce and the Marks and Spencer Tikka Masala, as I have plenty of the both at home. I dunno... is it just me? I mean, I know that American grocery stores often have their own "house brand" of most popular items.. but don't you think it's be weird if Bi-Lo or Harris Teeter or Kroger started carrying only house brands? What if Nordstrom carried food? Would you buy Nordstrom brand food? Don't get me wrong - all of the M&S food I've ever had was pretty good... there's just something unsettling and... cultish about having your store's name on everything.

End of Part 2 of Day 5. Click here to go to Part 3 of Day 5!