Here's my list of Top 10 Celebrity Hot Chicks for May 2005.  This list is not a cumulative thing - after all, there wouldn't be much run for you the reader if Laetitia Casta, Madonna and Angelina Jolie were ranked number 1,2 and 3 for the next year.  So I've decided to add some variety to this list by having the simple rule that no single celebrity can appear on this list more than once every six months. Also, not only am I doing this list as a way to indulge myself, but also to turn you on to actresses, singers and other personalities you might not have heard of.  So... enjoy the list!

What's there to say about Angelina Jolie? She's got a buff body, beautiful eyes, gorgeous lips, a big ol' pile of money... and - if the tabloids can be believed - she's freaky! I mean... damn - what more do you want in a female? I suppose I could want her to build "us" a house with our own personal Jack In The Box built in the back... but I guess that'd be greedy, huh?

Remember the first time you saw Jessica Alba in leather pants?  I know I sure do - and I bet most American males do too (well, the straight ones, anyway). She has that mysterious beauty about her... Is her background black?  Hispanic?  I dunno, but she sure looks good, especially in Sin City, where she plays a stripper... that unfortunately never takes it off. She's also in the upcoming Fantastic Four - hey, any movie or TV show where she has to wear form-fitting outfits is fine by me!  

OK, OK.. I admit it.  Lynette is my favorite Desperate Housewife. And why not? Gabrielle is greedy, vain and needs to eat a few sandwiches.  Susan doesn't look so hot in HD. Edie's face has had so much Botox that it just doesn't move any more.  And the less said about Bree the better. So that leaves Lynette - the epitome of a "hot mom".  How come I never see women like that at the grocery store or dry cleaners? If I ever saw Lynette at the Home Depot, you know I'd be like "hey, mommy!"

Nina Hossain is a presenter (anchor) for ITV News in the UK.  She's not especially pretty, but there's just something about the way she holds herself.  I listen to her read the news and imagine what she'd sound like dressed up as a schoolmistress, threatening to "spank your bare bottom".  Of course, the fact that I'm doing this while she's reading stories about children in Banda Ache orphaned by the tsunami makes me feel slightly guilty.

I first spotted Natascha McElhone in the 1998 film Ronin, where she plays the Irish lass Deirdre, who hires Robert De Niro and Jean Reno (amongst others) to steal a mysterious suitcase. She is now starring in the NBC mini-series Revelations, where she plays Sister Josepha Montefiore, a nun who's convinced that the end of the world is nigh. She really has a unique beauty, and the fact that I'm drooling over someone in a nun's habit also makes me feel guilty.   

Helen Baxendale became a household name in her native Britain by starring in the smash hit soap\comedy Cold Feet in the late 1990s. Americans probably know her as Ross' jilted fiancée Emily Waltham from Friends.  Either way, she's soooo cute. Ya see, some girls are "sexy".  Some are "pretty".  And others are just "sweet".  That's Helen.  You just wanna curl up on the sofa with her and tickle her or something.

Evangeline Lilly just came out of nowhere, didn't she? As Kate on the ABC smash hit Lost, she has stormed into American living rooms and is all the talk around water coolers and men's locker rooms everywhere. Of course, the fact that she almost always has some need to be scantily clad on the show doesn't hurt, does it? Tall, skinny and Canadian, Lilly is also the spokesperson for the telephone dating service LiveLinks - and boy, I bet she regrets signing up for that now!

Sonia Aquino is an Italian actress, best known in these parts for playing Sophia Loren in the Geoffrey Rush film The Life and Death of Peter Sellers. Like most hot Italian actresses, she has better curves than a Lamborghini or a Ferrari.  Let's hope she speaks the language of love though, 'cos she can't speak English worth a damn.

Jane is the wife of Jonathan Ross, a media personality sometimes known as "Britain's David Letterman" (think back to when Letterman was actually funny, if you can remember back that far).  His missus got sick of being known as "Mrs. Jonathan Ross" and set off to do her own thing - which resulted in Jane Goldman Investigates, a LivingTV show where she investigates witches, ghosts, and other paranormal activity. She's slightly on the chunky side (not that there's anything wrong with that) and has breasts the size of Rhode Island... but the best thing about her is that bright red hair!

I recently posted a "thingy" about her on my front page.  This girl - apparently Romanian by birth, but German by upbringing - has acted in a lot of European films you've never heard of, and has only recently become known to Americans via her role as Hitler's personal secretary in Downfall (Der Untergang).  She's amazingly pretty, with a cute little skinny (yet curvy) body as well as the perfect "European girl" face. As pretty as she is though, she not that photogenic; she's one of those girls you have to see in motion to appreciate. 

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